a touch of morrison.

When the Do It Now representative finally arrived with his tape recorder to produce the sixty-second spot, Jim found himself a seat and graciously offered the rep the one on the other side of his corner desk. He appeared eager to please.

"Okay, now, what we want you to say," the rep nervously started, "is 'This is Jim Morrison from the Doors,' and then just, umm, in your own words, tell them speed kills."

Jim thought for a moment and then conceded.

"Okay, is this thing on? Testing, testing .... you better play it back, make sure it's working. We don't want to go through all this trouble and then discover, only too late, you missed your only chance."

The tape was rewound, played, checked out, and rewound again back to the start. "Ready, Jim?" "Ready." "Okay, now, go."

Jim thought for a moment and then began. "Hi, you little assholes out there listening to the radio instead of doing your homework, this is Jim Morrison of the Doors--"

The Do It Now representative stopped the recorder.

Jim shot a wink at Denny. "What are you doing?" he asked the rep. "I hadn't finished!"

"Please, Jim, we can get this whole thing done in just a minute if you'll be straightforward. Remember, this is a public service spot."

Jim listened attentively and nodded. "I think I understand. Can I try it again?"

The recorder was switched back on to record: "Hey, how you guys out there doin'? This is your old buddy Jim Morrison, I sing with a group called the Doors, you mighta heard of 'em. We done a few songs, but I never, never did a song on speed. Drunk, hell yeahhhh ..."

The exasperated representative asked Jim, "Please, you must understand what we need. Frank Zappa had fun. You can have fun, too, but you must be serious."

Jim seemed to understand. "Okay, got it. Turn the sucker on. We'll get it this time. I promise."

"Hello, this is Jim Morrison of the Doors, I just want to tell you that shooting speed ain't cool, so snort it." The recorder was turned off and the representative sat motionless. The room was silent.

"Something the matter? Was that all right?"

The rep only shook his head. Jim stood up and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, man, I'm sorry, come on, turn that back in. I'm real sorry, I'll give it to you straight this time. Honest."

The rep looked at Jim. "You promise?" Jim was solemn. "I promise."

The tape was set and rolling.

"Hello, this is Jim Morrison. Don't shoot speed. Christ, you guys, smoke pot."

The rep looked up. "I think we're getting closer, Jim, if you could just change those last few words."

"I know exactly what you mean," Jim assured him. "One more time, roll it."

This time Jim gave his formal introduction, warned that shooting speed "isn't that smart, shooting speed kills geese, if you shoot a goose fulla speed, that goose is gonna swim in circles forever."

The Do It Now man had lost all patience and was nearly in tears. Jim was begging him, "Come on, man, I'm sorry, I was just having fun you know, we'll get it right this time, I promise."

"I don't know, Jim"--the rep was shaking his head--"I can't spend all day here."

"One last time," Jim insisted.

"Okay, but if you don't get it right this time, that's it."

"I'm sorry. This will be a take--you know what a take is?"

Jim held the hand microphone carefully before his mouth. He paused and then began. "Hello, this is Jim Morrison from the Doors and I just got one thing to say." Jim smiled at the rep, who smiled back hopefully. "Don't shoot speed. Speed kills. Please don't shoot speed, try downers, yeah, downers, barbs, tranks, reds, they're much less expensive and--"

The tape machine was still running but the rep had hit the end of his rope. He got up, pulled on his jacket, and grabbing the recorder, stalked out of the office. The room erupted in laughter. Jim had given his speech in a way so that it was impossible to edit.

"Wassa matter with him?" Jim asked "I heard Alice Cooper say if he caught anybody shooting speed, he'd come over to their house and hang their puppies. I didn't say anything like that."

The Do It Now Foundation never got their Jim Morrison antidrug spot.

-No One Here Gets Out Alive, pg. 336-338